There are some things I know for sure:
My ducks are not in a row. They will never be in a row. My ducks are most likely lost. And drunk.
One should never eat a hot dog purchased at the airport. Any airport. Ever.
When someone says they are “on a journey of self-discovery,” you’re gonna want to sit down. This will be a lengthy, mostly one-sided, conversation.
You can’t reason with crazy.
I will get my ass handed to me in the arena unless I am defended with love.
If it takes longer than 6.5 seconds to line up your putt, you’re over-thinking it. Hit the damn ball!
Burnt toast first thing in the morning is an ominous sign. I’m not saying your day will be ruined. I’m just saying…watch your toast.
If “you’re” job application looks anything like this sentence, “your” not getting the job.
But the most important thing I know for sure is this: Stephen and I were a good team and, because of that, the kids are alright. There is no doubt there are many things we screwed up during the course of our marriage, but the kids aren’t one of them. Well at least not in a “Our parenting turned our children into serial killers” kind of way. Our yin and yang worked. Stephen’s care free, fly by the seat of your pants, spontaneous personality coupled with my ever so slightly anxiety-ridden, level headed, plan it out in advance kind of style, made for a good balance. Let me give you a small example.
(Camping at the sand dunes) …
Him: Gonna take our eight-year-old child 4-wheeling.
Me: Please put a helmet on her.
Two hours later…
Me: Why is there sand ON TOP of her helmet?!?
Him: We rolled the 4-wheeler. But just the one time.
We were both on Team Kids. We loved them. We wanted them to be happy. We wanted them to have the same kind of amazing childhoods we’d both had. Summers where their cheeks were pink from long days of sprinkler running and lemonade stands. Winters of snowman building and hot chocolate by the fire. We wanted them to experience all that life had to offer, which meant that they would sometimes get hurt. It was at those difficult times, when our children were suffering in some way, that our union was at its best. We “pulled in.” We hunkered down as a couple and did whatever it took to see our children through the storm.
We were one.
I miss that part.
Now, I have to be both the yin and the yang. In matters of our children, I have to stop and think, Am I saying No because it’s not a good idea, or because I’m afraid to make the decision on my own?
And then I remember that we laid a good foundation. He and I. Together we taught our girls about being kind. About being a good sister. A good friend. About working hard and playing harder. Keeping your word and following through on your commitments. That we love each other, even when we make mistakes. And that wearing a helmet is always a good idea.
So yeah, I know for sure about the kids. We got that part right.